True Life

I thought you Cared, I thought you Loved, I thought you Wanted, I thought you Dreamed, I thought you’d Save, I thought you Longed, Me. What happened?

your Like an Old star, You Shined, you Lived, you Died, You Burned. You fell straight down into the earth.

I gave you your space, your time. Was it me? You? Others? I thought you wouldnt move on, I thought you wouldnt give up, I know Wouldnt, til now. Seeing you move on, Now i wont lie, It killed me a little bit, but i realized One thing. I Moved on. Then I Smiled. Realizing; I Moved on to something better, Meaning I Gave up. Hypocritical.

Im Happy. I grew older, Mature, better

I Laugh, You think you left me broken down, thinking i would come running back, you think you got the best of me, think you got the last laugh. You dont know me cause your dead wrong. Now that your out of my life, im so much better.

You thinking Id be sad without you , i laugh harder. Im not gunna stop, im working harder. Your mad im a Survivor?

Now I Know better, not to blast you on the internet, Anywhere. Im usually better that that. My Mama taught me better than that. As of right now, I think you know why im doing this in the first place.

Im not gunna chase you, I took My life back. I deserve Respect. Time to step. Funny aint it? you Neglected me. Too late. Im moved on and honestly, I forgot you.

Now do you know how Sick you make me? You Never Were The Best for me. I Reached My closure. But the Satisfaction of Blasting you, realizing how idiotic, a failure, A mistake, Makes me motivated.
you thought you can judge me but you are Wrong. There is only One True Judge, And Thats god. So chill and let my Father do his job.

Hoping you understand that your just a disgrace to Human and God. Understand everything that i just wrote. Is Completely True.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
- Charles R. Swindoll.

 His :   7 kisses , 7 roses, the 7 seas.. that ocean breeze. I wanna give it to you all, the world, my heart, my love, wanna share you in my dreams, n include you in then. breaks my heart to see you cry… you smile and them beautiful eyes. its like these butterflys grew rockets n they got me flyn high. got me far far away in all different kinds of galaxies. you take the breath right out of me. Im sorry im having a hard time with rhymes, but this love got me feelin like im walkin blind. but i can see you, see you perfectly fine. You and I , i dont want you as a one time valentine, Baby.. will you be mine? Together. Forever n always? For alsong as these stars shine? <3

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Herss :Your the one it’s true I would give up my life for you. For all the shit we go through, Your beautiful and strong too. The way you make me feel I can not deny when we are eye to eye butterflies fly. The way you got my mind racing, Your heart is what I’ll hold for the taken. Your love? I won’t foresaken. Your undescriable and my love for you? is undeniable. Perfect? There is no such thing but perfect is what you seem to bring. When I have you there will be no stressing, Just more progressing, You have a beautiful impression, You got my attention, You are such a blessing, with you there will be no agression just making a love session .

For two days now, I have been Emotional. Why? I Dont know. Deep Down inside ive been Depressed. Im coping and dealing with it but its so hard to get through the days. I break down and cry. I want to run and run. I want to go to a feild and Scream my heart out. I need something else. This isnt right for me.

The Biggest thing making me Depressed is the death of Kristopher. My Brother. My Life. My happiness true at heart. My hero. My Bestfriend. My Emotional Support. Thats Gone now. I dont have my Hero who would of dropped anything for me. Not caring where he was and what he was doing. If i needed him he would be there. Theres Peace in the valley for him now. I know hes in a better place. Why should i have to deal with this pain by myself? I dont know, why he didnt fight for his life to stay here to help me. He knew I couldnt get through something like this. I Remember every word he last said when i was on the phone with him before he died Which was “I will be the sunshine in your hair, The shadow on the ground, I am going to be the of whisper in the wind, The beat of your heart, The moonlight shinging down, And Most importanlty, The Love In The Air. I Love You Kendra.”

I still hear his voice in my dreams saying this over and over again. I wake up in a panic. ( Contionue At A Later Date )

So I met this guy and i like him. but i recently found out he likes someone else. It kindaa fucknn suckss when you just wanna be like your pretty much everything i looked for and i like you but i cant  . We have a lot of similarites but its like i dont exist to you like that…Id rather call u Mine than here someone call u theres. I know its been a short amount of time but Its like there is a connection there but ur not feeling it. I mean HELLO there are deffin other BETTER and Preetttierr girls out there than me. But im different from most girls. Maybe u can tell from just talking to me.


I Just apparently suck at trying to get a boyfriend. Oh well. I cant get someone as Beautiful as you. I mean you Sing, you were in the army, your beautiful. i can see why a lot of girls like you. I hope if u get a girlfriend she treats u like a king. You deserve it. 

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When your going out with someone and there very jealous gets very annoying. I dont understand why he is jealous. Sometimes fighting over if My friends will do anything. Wouldnt you thinkkkk that if there My friends and not his i would know if they’d do anythingg? im so fusterated. its like i cant have guy friends. why should i change my whole life for him? I Do love him and want to be with him, but i cant drop everyone that was there before him and change my life just to please himm..Make no sense why i have to. what also doesnt make sense if why can he talk to this one girl who is older than him and say she wont do anything but i cant talk to any guys?! not even the guy i grew up with who is like a brother? ughh…